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Jumu'ah Naseehah :
Religion and Good Manners - III
Acquiring good manners
There is no doubt that good manners can be acquired and learnt; however, some of them are instinctive. Instinctive manners are those that Allaah The Almighty created a person with, as a part of their inborn character. An example for this is what the Prophet, sall Allaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ), said to his Companion may Allaah be pleased with him: "You have two characteristics which Allaah likes: tolerance and deliberation." The Companion may Allaah be pleased with him asked, "Have I acquired them or did Allaah create (them) in my nature?’ He, sall Allaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ), replied: "No, Allaah has created (them) in your nature." The Companion may Allaah be pleased with him then said, "Praise be to Allaah who has created in my nature two characteristics which Allaah and His Messenger like." [Abu Daawood]
However, the Prophet, sall Allaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ), also used to ask Allaah The Almighty to help him acquire good manners, as he, sall Allaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ), said in his supplication at the start of a prayer (after Takbeer): "O Allaah, guide me to the best of characters for none can guide to it other than You, and deliver me from the worst of characters for none can deliver me from it other than You." [Muslim]
Among the factors that help one acquire good manners are sincere determination and a gradual approach towards changing one's manners, as they will only change slowly, but surely. This is because it is impossible to directly replace bad behavior with good behavior. Some people think that they can easily acquire good manners, in spite of the fact that they will never be able to improve their conduct without striving for righteousness and calling their soul to account. Moreover, everyone needs those around them to direct them to good and show them their faults. How can one detect one's faults if they are not surrounded by those who tell them that they need to rectify their behavior?
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- Registration date : 2008-10-28
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